Cries and Whispers in The Roanoke Times news room

Reposted in tribute to reporter Michael Sluss' balanced reporting (so far) on Virginia's governor's race:

(First voice) "What do you mean you can't go out to lunch?"

(Second voice) "Gotta save money."

(Silence)

(First voice.) "You didn't get a Christmas bonus, did you?"

(Silence)

(First voice) "It was that reporting you did on the governor's race -- the one where you said Republicans weren't so bad -- wasn't it?"

(Silence)

(First voice) "You dork! I told you, man -- never, never, NEVER give those guys credit for anything if you're gonna work here. Don't you think maybe there is a REASON the entire editorial staff are Bush-hating, lefty moonbats? Well, don't you? Jesus, where's your g*ddam head, man? Pay attention to what management thinks is important or you're looking at the road. Is that what you want? "

(Second voice) "Did you know a recent study showed that only 39% of adults get their news from newspapers, down from 60% in 1996, and that this newspaper may soon have less subscribers than Blue Ridge Country Magazine," a publication devoted to fun and history in the Appalachian mountains?"

(silence)

(First voice) "OK, shut up and let me have one of those sandwiches."